How to survive married life without a child

     It is not easy to live a life filled with expectations and frustration, hopes and unfulfilled dreams, especially when you've sacrificed so much. You have so many plans when you got married, but there are uncontrollable circumstances which are preventing these plans to happen.

     I keep on reminding myself that I'm not the only one struggling with infertility, but sometimes when I'm alone at home, having a check-up in a clinic, or even when in malls, I can't help but think about it. It's hard to be in that state of mind where I feel sorry for myself, get envious of others or hate the world for something that I don't have. Each day is a struggle, a step towards surviving married life without a child.

     Just because I'm a woman, and can get too emotional sometimes, I've decided to make a list of My Survival Tips:

Have faith in God that everything happens for a reason

Prayer always does wonders especially if you have faith. Whether we like it or not, we have to accept what will happen because "You can't always get what you want". Only God knows what's in store for us and by slowly accepting reality, somewhere along the way, you will also learn your purpose in life.

Regularly express and show your love to your spouse as reassurance that you're in this together -

Let your husband know how you feel and that you appreciate his efforts. Nobody wants to feel neglected so even with your busy schedule you should always communicate. Maybe he also wants to share ideas on how to overcome your struggles and just don't know how to start. This will strengthen your marriage and get through life's hardships together.

Start a hobby of something you really love to do

Everyone has something that he or she likes. Whether it's a hobby when you were a child or one that you've recently grown fond of. Hobbies are proven to be beneficial because it's a great stress reliever. It can provide personal fulfillment, and you can also learn new things and even meet people with the same hobbies as yours.

Go out with friends or relatives as a couple

You may think that just by going out alone is helpful. But this doesn't apply to me. I get more conscious of my situation and what I don't have. In the end, I don't enjoy my time and I just miss my husband more. When you go as a couple, you have a "partner in crime" when it comes to answering inevitable questions. You will be safer especially when you have to go home late at night. And the feeling of joy and pleasure because your spouse is right there with you experiencing the same things as you do.

Participate in activities involving charity

Many of us are already busy with our work and career plans. But wouldn't it be more exciting and worthwhile if we are able to help those less fortunate? It doesn't have to be about money. But simply lending your hand in activities that would make their lives easier would be more than enough. To be honest, I haven't done this since way back in college. But if given the chance, I would do this again.

If you have the budget, take time to travel and explore different places together

This may not be applicable for everybody, but if you have extra money, traveling with your loved one also brings fulfillment. Besides seeing new places and meeting new people, this can also be an escape to relax your mind and divert your attention from the things that make you sad.

     Being married without a child doesn't have to be gloomy or depressing. We just have to make use of the life God has given, by living a meaningful life and appreciating what life has to offer.

     What are the things you do to overcome sadness & frustration of not having your own child? Let us share ideas and survive this ordeal. Send me your thoughts.



Photo credit: Fotasca; ninacoco; jonnypage